Sunday, March 26, 2006

Quote, unquote

From a programme I don't usually listen to on BBC radio 4: "Quote, unquote"

"If it weren't for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless succession of What-hos."


"I went to my doctor and asked him for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite."

Les Dawson

"There are two rules to comedy: One, always leave them wanting more ..."

"The doctor said the good news was that I was going to have a disease named after me."

"It's just a job; bees make honey, the sun shines, waves pound on the shore and I beat people up."

Muhamed Ali

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."

Alan Minter

More from P. G. Wodehouse:

"Madeleine Basset laughed the tinkling, silvery laugh that had got her so disliked by the better element."

"Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse."

"Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good."

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."

"Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels."

"I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit."

"To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time."


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